The professor sat on his desk, juggling a couple of small potion bottles as the students entered. Every couple of minutes, another potion was added to the mix, appearing in a plume of smoke. The professor managed to juggle six bottles before they crashed and fell, then dissipated into smoke at his feet. "What?" he asked, looking at the students watching in bewilderment. "Don't act like you're not impressed that a one-eyed frog can juggle."
He pushed away from the desk and folded his arms behind his back, slowly going up and down the aisles to stare at each student. "This is the last month, which is your last chance to impress me. I would like it very much if you all removed your heads from your asses and put some serious effort into this last one. Of course, I'm not holding my breath, but it'd be a nice parting gift for me, wouldn't it? Since I know I'm not going to see at least half of you chowder heads ever again." He shook his head regretfully. Usually half of a class died off or something like that between terms. Such was the way of the world, of nature, and natural selection.
"I thought about choosing a student teacher for my department, then I realized all of you disappoint me. I really do hate being disappointed, but at the same time, it's probably better that I keep all my classes to myself. Why would I trust anyone to be as perfect as me?"
PTS 101: Introduction to Potions
Helmy says:
"For the last assignment, I'm going to ask you to make a simple potion from a number of choices... all of them would be useful to you, and I'd just give you the potion outright, but that wouldn't be fun. And I'm not that nice."
He handed out a couple of papers - one potion for temporary happiness, one for relaxation, and a basic healing potion. "If you do get around to making it, it'll benefit you. And you can remember your favorite professor fondly."
[ Assignment - Select a potion and follow the instructions on the sheet. ]
KID olivetoart - 5PTS 102: Introduction to Potions Herbs
Helmy says:
Zee huniebl0d -
Cathrine MoeMoe-Momo - 5
Sitka MichiYaslana -
Clement TheLostArts - 5
Caesar JeanaWei -
Averill Shoshou
Malaya RosaieI
Helmy says:
Clement TheLostArts -
Caesar JeanaWei -
KID olivetoart -
Just as promised, the professor expected the students to make their potions this time around. He nodded to each of them as he glanced over the proposals they'd submitted, with the exception of those who didn't turn anything in. They received a flipped desk instead. "This last assignment should be fairly easy, and I think that most of you won't have to do it, because you've already done your previous ones. Though, you might find it beneficial to mix the potion your partner designed for you - after all, it's supposed to be good for you, right?"
[ Assignment: Mix the potion for either your partner, or the one your partner designed for you ]
Zee huniebl0d -
Cathrine MoeMoe-Momo - 5
Sitka MichiYaslana -
Clement TheLostArts - 5
Caesar JeanaWei -
Averill Shoshou
Malaya RosaieI
PTS 103: Potions and Ethics
"All right! So our last potion, hmm... what shall we do... I suppose we should actually discuss the ethics of using potions. Well, there aren't any! That's how I feel. Go forth and use potions anywhere you want."
"So, we used body switching potions last month, and this month... we're going to be using species switching potions! For instance, if I switched with this kid"--he gestured toward Clement--"he'd turn green, get gray hair, learn to smokeshift, and be some weird amphibian reptile mix. And I'd look like a constipated ass clown."
"It's not a body switch - it's a species switch, so you change species, but you're still yourself. You still have your special scars and traits and body structure and so forth, you just get the features of the other species."
[ Assignment - Use a species switching potion]
Clement TheLostArts -
Caesar JeanaWei -
KID olivetoart -
PTS 201: Healing Potions
Helmy says:
Virgil Diluculi -
Stein SAMSXCS
Hugo WhatIsInTheDark -
"The last thing I'd like you to do is make a little reference material for yourself, as you'll find it useful as you continue along the potionmaking track. Keeping plants defined is important, you see?"
He held up the book of laminated plants that he'd made in his first year of potionmaking. "What you're going to be doing is something like this. I want you to research no less than ten plants that are said to be involved in healing, and not ones that I've already told you about, because that's boring. No, you need to research new ones, ones I haven't mentioned, and then describe what they could be used in, potion-wise."
"Having a reference is really useful. You should consider categorizing the plants by their purpose -- such as healing the mind, healing the body, or healing the soul -- but you don't have to if you don't want to. It's extra work, but it may be useful down the road."
He held up the book of laminated plants that he'd made in his first year of potionmaking. "What you're going to be doing is something like this. I want you to research no less than ten plants that are said to be involved in healing, and not ones that I've already told you about, because that's boring. No, you need to research new ones, ones I haven't mentioned, and then describe what they could be used in, potion-wise."
"Having a reference is really useful. You should consider categorizing the plants by their purpose -- such as healing the mind, healing the body, or healing the soul -- but you don't have to if you don't want to. It's extra work, but it may be useful down the road."
[ Assignment - Make a book of medicinal plants ]
Virgil Diluculi -
Stein SAMSXCS
Hugo WhatIsInTheDark -
PTS 203: Advanced Potions Herbs
Helmy says:
The students had already gone to the desert and the mountains, which left just one biome remaining: the forest. Unfortunately, the forest was almost always frozen, which inhibited plants from growing there. But he did know of some treasures within the frozen green.
"I'm going to give you an option here regarding what kind of plants you'll fetch from the forest," he said. "You can either harvest some sap from the trees and boil it, producing a useful ingredient for an energy potion, or you can dig up their roots and chop them up, soak them in salt, and produce an ingredient useful for curing head fuzziness. You know what I'm talking about, right? When you've not slept enough, or overslept, or you're just hung over, you have head fuzziness."
"You should thank me, the trees growing on the edge of the forest are appropriate for this task, so you don't even have to walk far."
Pet olivetoart -
The students had already gone to the desert and the mountains, which left just one biome remaining: the forest. Unfortunately, the forest was almost always frozen, which inhibited plants from growing there. But he did know of some treasures within the frozen green.
"I'm going to give you an option here regarding what kind of plants you'll fetch from the forest," he said. "You can either harvest some sap from the trees and boil it, producing a useful ingredient for an energy potion, or you can dig up their roots and chop them up, soak them in salt, and produce an ingredient useful for curing head fuzziness. You know what I'm talking about, right? When you've not slept enough, or overslept, or you're just hung over, you have head fuzziness."
"You should thank me, the trees growing on the edge of the forest are appropriate for this task, so you don't even have to walk far."
Pet olivetoart -
PTS 301: Basic Transformation Potions
Helmy says:
"Look at this wonderful, beautiful thing! It smells like a horse's ass (or Razik's ass?) and you're going to spend a lot of time with it during this last assignment. What is it, you ask? Oh, it's the Oozeleaf, and it's an important part of transformation potions. Do you remember that bullshit where you could put together a potion and put some piece of hair in it, and suddenly you could turn into that person? Yes, by use of DNA? This is the flower that is a main component of that kind of potion."
"What you're going to do is take these seeds and bury them in grave soil. Get some of it from the necromancy building and put it in some terracotta pots or some shit. It will grow in about fifteen days. When it grows, mix a transformation potion with it, and then add the hair of the person you want to impersonate. Then, go wreck their friendships, or something like that... something fun, basically. Something suitable to our trollish department. Haha!"
Prudence - CuddlyBunneh -
"Look at this wonderful, beautiful thing! It smells like a horse's ass (or Razik's ass?) and you're going to spend a lot of time with it during this last assignment. What is it, you ask? Oh, it's the Oozeleaf, and it's an important part of transformation potions. Do you remember that bullshit where you could put together a potion and put some piece of hair in it, and suddenly you could turn into that person? Yes, by use of DNA? This is the flower that is a main component of that kind of potion."
"What you're going to do is take these seeds and bury them in grave soil. Get some of it from the necromancy building and put it in some terracotta pots or some shit. It will grow in about fifteen days. When it grows, mix a transformation potion with it, and then add the hair of the person you want to impersonate. Then, go wreck their friendships, or something like that... something fun, basically. Something suitable to our trollish department. Haha!"
Prudence - CuddlyBunneh -
PTS 303: Emotion Potions
Helmy says:
"You didn't even do your last one! Come on, I'm not getting paid by the hour here. Or even at all. Go do the other ones first and MAYBE I'll grace you with another assignment."
Prudence CuddlyBunneh
"You didn't even do your last one! Come on, I'm not getting paid by the hour here. Or even at all. Go do the other ones first and MAYBE I'll grace you with another assignment."
Prudence CuddlyBunneh
PTS 304: Rare Potion Ingredients
Helmy says:
"All right, so... we've talked about gemstones and we've talked about artifacts, which leaves the last section -- organic rare materials. By this I'm talking about the sort of potions ingredients that you'd get only when slaying some difficult to find and kill monster. Basilisk venom? Dragon's scales? Well, then again, I guess you could go beat up the shadowmancy teacher for dragon scales, but... you know what I mean."
"Magical creatures, by definition, have a lot of magic in their bodies, which is why poaching of magical creatures is so common. You'll see anything from incubus tails to harpy feathers on the market, and they all have their uses according to the type of animal they came from, and the animal's specialty or what kind of magic is contained in it."
"Most of the documented animal parts come from famous species. Let's say you were to chop Kaine's tail off when he's in that weird dragon form, for instance. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it, but let's say you did it. You can use a dragon tail in a transformation potion for natural armor, like a living exoskeleton to protect your soft, warm innards. You could also use it to make a potion to enhance fire abilities, though caveat - like I said, it depends on what kind of element the critter aligns with."
"Your job, though... find a student, one that hails from a famous species, and take part of their body. Look up what kind of potion you could make with it, though bear in mind there will probably be a good number of options, so you're free to list them all."
Prudence CuddlyBunneh
"All right, so... we've talked about gemstones and we've talked about artifacts, which leaves the last section -- organic rare materials. By this I'm talking about the sort of potions ingredients that you'd get only when slaying some difficult to find and kill monster. Basilisk venom? Dragon's scales? Well, then again, I guess you could go beat up the shadowmancy teacher for dragon scales, but... you know what I mean."
"Magical creatures, by definition, have a lot of magic in their bodies, which is why poaching of magical creatures is so common. You'll see anything from incubus tails to harpy feathers on the market, and they all have their uses according to the type of animal they came from, and the animal's specialty or what kind of magic is contained in it."
"Most of the documented animal parts come from famous species. Let's say you were to chop Kaine's tail off when he's in that weird dragon form, for instance. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it, but let's say you did it. You can use a dragon tail in a transformation potion for natural armor, like a living exoskeleton to protect your soft, warm innards. You could also use it to make a potion to enhance fire abilities, though caveat - like I said, it depends on what kind of element the critter aligns with."
"Your job, though... find a student, one that hails from a famous species, and take part of their body. Look up what kind of potion you could make with it, though bear in mind there will probably be a good number of options, so you're free to list them all."
Prudence CuddlyBunneh
PTS 402: Transmutation
Helmy says:
"Well, we've already done transforming species and transforming into an individual, so what's left? That would be morphing the features of multiple people into one person. Like, if you were to take the DNA from two different people and put it into a transmutation potion, then you'll get one of the possible combinations of children they could have."
He paused. "That's kind of weird, isn't it? But hell, I don't care. Your job is to take two students or teachers or whatever and combine their DNA, then transform using the potion. Keep me informed about who you choose to prank in this way. Next, you're going to go to your victims and convince them that you're their child. Use the phantasms as an excuse, because that's about as close to truth as it can get."
"Now, the question you'll have... can you mix multiple peoples' DNA, and not just two? And indeed, the answer is yes. But I wouldn't suggest it, because you start getting really muddled at that point. It's better to stick with two."
Sangeen lizziecat1279 - 5
Cressida KeplerNova - 5
Dion dev-lish -
"Well, we've already done transforming species and transforming into an individual, so what's left? That would be morphing the features of multiple people into one person. Like, if you were to take the DNA from two different people and put it into a transmutation potion, then you'll get one of the possible combinations of children they could have."
He paused. "That's kind of weird, isn't it? But hell, I don't care. Your job is to take two students or teachers or whatever and combine their DNA, then transform using the potion. Keep me informed about who you choose to prank in this way. Next, you're going to go to your victims and convince them that you're their child. Use the phantasms as an excuse, because that's about as close to truth as it can get."
"Now, the question you'll have... can you mix multiple peoples' DNA, and not just two? And indeed, the answer is yes. But I wouldn't suggest it, because you start getting really muddled at that point. It's better to stick with two."
Sangeen lizziecat1279 - 5
Cressida KeplerNova - 5
Dion dev-lish -
PTS 403: Illness and Death Potions
Helmy says:
The professor hummed and leaned back and forth on his heels. "I've already told you what the last class is going to encompass, so I'm sure you can already anticipate this class is going to be about how to make a death potion. A death potion is, in simple terms, a poison. And with every poison there is an antidote, so keep that in mind. I'm not saying that you should give it to your victim, because that would defeat the purpose, but with how stupid all of you are, I don't doubt that you'd accidentally get a death potion on yourselves. And that would be so sad, wouldn't it?" He shook his head.
"So, you're going to be researching plants that are deadly, and have toxins capable of killing people. You are going to fashion an antidote to that toxin -- just in case, I'd hate to lose my poor little students -- then you'll introduce the plant into a potion. I won't outright ask you to give it to someone and cause their death, but you can, and you'd get extra points for it. But you can just turn in the potion and I'll test it on someone I don't like."
Dion dev-lish - 5
The professor hummed and leaned back and forth on his heels. "I've already told you what the last class is going to encompass, so I'm sure you can already anticipate this class is going to be about how to make a death potion. A death potion is, in simple terms, a poison. And with every poison there is an antidote, so keep that in mind. I'm not saying that you should give it to your victim, because that would defeat the purpose, but with how stupid all of you are, I don't doubt that you'd accidentally get a death potion on yourselves. And that would be so sad, wouldn't it?" He shook his head.
"So, you're going to be researching plants that are deadly, and have toxins capable of killing people. You are going to fashion an antidote to that toxin -- just in case, I'd hate to lose my poor little students -- then you'll introduce the plant into a potion. I won't outright ask you to give it to someone and cause their death, but you can, and you'd get extra points for it. But you can just turn in the potion and I'll test it on someone I don't like."
Dion dev-lish - 5
PTS 404: Potion Workshop
Helmy says:
"Okay, ass clowns. You should know what to do by now. I've already given you a lot of pointers, so make the damn potion and present it to me before the term's over. I'll tend test it on someone you like, just to give you some extra enthusiasm for doing it right. And if their head explodes or they die from poisoning, you know you failed." He stared at the students and smiled. "So go forth and be perfect like me."
Sangeen lizziecat1279 -
Dion dev-lish - 5
WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENT, COMMENT IT HERE ON THE PAGE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT WRITTEN ASSIGNMENTS NEED BE 1000 WORDS MINIMUM FOR FULL CREDIT.
"Okay, ass clowns. You should know what to do by now. I've already given you a lot of pointers, so make the damn potion and present it to me before the term's over. I'll tend test it on someone you like, just to give you some extra enthusiasm for doing it right. And if their head explodes or they die from poisoning, you know you failed." He stared at the students and smiled. "So go forth and be perfect like me."
Sangeen lizziecat1279 -
Dion dev-lish - 5
WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENT, COMMENT IT HERE ON THE PAGE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT WRITTEN ASSIGNMENTS NEED BE 1000 WORDS MINIMUM FOR FULL CREDIT.
